Just kidding, really. Though I am staying in tonight. I've done a good bit of socializing over the last week. I've tried to maintain a good balance of getting things done and spending time with friends. So I've had friends over for dinner, went out with friends for lunch, and even met up with a friend for dessert around mid-week.

I've been napping a lot this week, which is really strange for me. I've never been much of a napper (a few times in college, I remember). Just tonight, I came home from a day at school and slept for like two hours (5 to 7ish), which is unheard of in my parts. I celebrated the evening, then, with some Wendy's and an episode of Doctor Who. And I'm hoping that I'm not too-awake enough to hit the sack soon.

So my one real "week off" is pretty much over. I still have a good bit to do before Monday morning, though. I've got things sketched out, but I need to do some more fleshing out. I've had two meetings this week at school. I'll have three more next week after classes. I'm trying my best to be organized and a better "documetor" of what's going on. Hopefully that will help me keep things in line and my messy desk in order.

I'm actually going to see The Fantastic Four movie tomorrow. I have yet to see the first one: probably never will. But a couple of friends invited me along tomorrow night, and I'm enough of a fan of the Silver Surfer that I should probably see it. Reviews aren't very good in the non-comic world. In the comic world, things are kind of split. So it will be interesting, at least.

Tonight I "led" prayer meeting at church. Our pastor is off-island at the convention. He thought I would be a good replacement for him. I didn't really know what to do, as he had his own rhythm going and I don't usually attend Wednesday night stuff. It went well, I suppose. It did bring opportunity for reflection, though.

I love the church. I always have. That's not to say that it doesn't frustrate me. And it's not to say that there aren't moments where I am miserable when I sit in the pew. But I love the church. It's a good place to grow up running around in, Donald Miller might say. I got to church tonight a little early to get ready. I had been given a key, which means I could kind of come and go as needed. Found myself playing the piano and mulling around just enjoying being there. I suppose you could do that in a million other places, but there's just something about a church. Place of safety in an unsafe world. A place of consistency for a guy like me who lacks it. Just a good place to be.

I don't know what to do with the kid in me who loves the church. I love the people in the church. Those there tonight were sincere and solid, which I hope to be one day. And yet worship is different, services are strange, the world of the church has moved on, and I'm not sure what to do about it. There's so much there, even though I don't always see it.

Last week I mentioned new music by Caedmon's Call and Chris Rice. A couple of days ago, the Musician who is the Man (Andrew Osenga) completed a cool summer EP inspired by visitors to his web-site. He sent a call out for people to submit ideas. Then he wrote some songs. Then he encouraged people so send in some "web background vocals." Then he put it all together, using PhotoShop to make an "online virtual" cd booklet. Then he put the six-song set up for download for free on his website. Granted, he would love donations (which is something I need to do), but still. The music is great. Very acoustic, very vocal, and very enjoyable. It's amazing what you can do with technology these days!

You can check out the download here.

I suppose I'm two-parts British, really, in the way I think. What I call "fatalist" with Douglas Adams side of me ends up being "realist" when it comes to the thinking of C. S. Lewis, G. K. Chesterton, and J. R. R. Tolkien. The difference, really, is faith. On some level, Lewis and friends are just as "fatal" in their thinking: they know that man is the problem and that as good as this world is, it's also a mess without the intervention of some outside force. Enter belief in a transcendant yet personal God.

These three guys, Lewis, Chesterton, and Tolkien, represent a way of thinking that both acknowledges the problems of the world yet offers hope for something more that has meaning. Not only that, they are each informed with a sense of classicism and Romanticism that definitely goes in and out of style. Each writes in a tone of authority that also draws you close and bridges distance. Each takes images and makes them come to life in a way that is unexpected but totally normal. Story, for them, seems to be a way towards redemption. Whether it is Thursday having the image of the Man who was/is/will be Sunday or Niggle painting his leaf or the narrator trying to come to terms with the beauty of the High Countries, each writer found an effective vehicle to remind us of what is most true about the world.

Now that I'm writing this, it seems kind of strange and disjointed. Ah well. All I know is that the words of these three writers centers me in the human story in a way that no other non-biblical writing has. They remind me that the journey is difficult because that's the nature of it all. They remind me that sin and human nature are real. They remind me that inns should be comfortable places and that walks through the countryside should be cherished and that just as there is great evil in this world, so is there an even greater good still. There is the long defeat but also the promise of farther in and further up. And those are good things to be reminded of.

Well, it's summer-time. And with the larger amount of downtime that I am afforded by teaching comes the curse of too much time for self-reflection. It's a gift and a curse. Now, luckily, self-reflection is part of the program for me this summer as I seek to rethink some things in terms of teaching talking and being. So, as time and chance allow, I'm trying to revisit things that have shaped me. A lot of times this comes "bubbling up" in the context of where my mind or tv remote wanders.

Arthur Dent and the Doctor. I've been on something of a British kick lately. It's something that goes back a good number of years, actually. There's a part of me, I believe, that is British in that Fatal Optimist kind of way. This is a little different than another part of me that is another kind of British (more of that some other time). Part of it goes back to watching the old Doctor Who series a number of times growing up when it was on PBS. Then, in middle school, a friend introduced me to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series of books. Both of these things did a good bit to shape my thinking. What's strange is that in both of these series of stories, the main character has experienced great loss (Dent loses his planet; the Doctor loses his entire race). That's the fatal part. The optimist part comes in with the idea that, regardless of how absurd the universe can be, there's something amazing out their to be experienced. And the universe is something to be traveled through and experienced, often with a rag-tag group of companions with their own unique perspectives.

I find that there are a lot of accidental fatalists out there. Accidental is maybe a wrong term; I just think a lot of people don't know any better (some say the idea of progress for ALL people is pretty much dead), and don't see much beyond what's in front of their faces. One thing that strikes me as sad about the part of my imaginative past that is British is that this strain is pretty much athiestic. Richard Dawkins (of The God Delusion) had a huge impact the the Hitchhiker's writer, Douglas Adams. In his stories, God pretty much disappears in a "puff of logic." In the Doctor Who series of things, God is pretty much absent in order to make room for a world in struggle between chaos and order (and no one wants God popping up to set things right).

So today this was the part of me that kind of surfaced. Not the athiest part, mind you. But I have revisted some episodes of Doctor Who and looked through an old Douglas Adams book. I also get a taste of it in the books of Jasper Fforde, but maybe that's reflection for another time. I love the archteype of the universal traveler, the lonely wanderer. Not that I want to be one, mind you. But this is the part of me that knows there's a lot to experience and see out there and beyond. The question is, how do you get out there? And how do you help others see everything for all that it is?

Reflective Quote for the Day: "There’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe: warp drive, wormhole refractors. You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold. The Doctor

I took my copy of Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz with me to last night's grad party. I had to have something to do on the bus over, you know.

While on the bus, a guy sat down beside me who was reading John Eldredge's Waking the Dead, which is my co-favorite Eldredge book. We talked a minute about Eldredge's most popular book, Wild at Heart, which I loved on my first reading but then distrusted on my second reading.

Anyway.

I take BLJ in with me. A number of the people I sat with recognized the book and asked me about it. Told them that I was revisiting it, looking over my notes from the first or second time that I read it. Everyone spoke very highly of the book, how solid Miller's ideas were (though one mentioned that she didn't agree with everything, which is fine). It was interesting to see people's reaction to the book. It presents quite the challenge to the believer raised in the institutional church.

I wish I could say that my life reflected the same kind of authenticity that Miller presents in the book. And I wished that I lived with the sense of "this is it" that Waking the Dead presents. Granted, I also wish I took the words of Jesus as seriously as I could.

That's the crux of it, really. Taking Jesus at his word. These other authors are good. They help us remove some of the cultural clutter that gets in the way. It's not gospel, by any means. But it does till the soil of the heart that needs to receive words of good news frequently.

So I'm listening to some songs that I downloaded at some point in the past but never listened to. Good lyrics from Anberlin's song "Paperthin Hymn:"

August evenings
Bring solemn warnings
To remember
to kiss the ones you love goodnight

You never know what temporal days may bring
So Laugh, love, live free, and sing
When life is in discord
Praise ye the Lord